Friday, October 30, 2009

Abercrombie & Fitch

as I walked by this shithole on my way to buy Mrs. Fields cookies, I caught a waft of what I can only describe as cheap after-shave splashed onto a homeless guy's balls.

A&F can take it's rightful place on the list of things that can f themselves.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Five Guys Burgers

little cheeseburger with onions, tomatoes, grilled mushrooms, ketchup, mustard...

and hair.

Five Guys can f themselves.

and yes, i ate it anyway.

and yes, i will be back.


fuckers.

Friday, October 23, 2009

My Life

i left the office this afternoon feeling like it had been a productive day, only to find that there was a lovely surprise waiting for me.

a flat tire.

after an epic failure on my part in trying to use the jack in my car's emergency kit to replace the busted donut with the spare, i was left tired, cold, hungry, and angry.

help came 2 hours later and after an adventurous journey in the rain, i eventually made it home.

the guy who came to fix my tire, an awesome fellow, asked me if perhaps there was an angry ex-gf fucking my shit up.

if only my life were that interesting.


my life can go f itself.

DOMS

DOMS, Delayed onset muscle soreness, also sometimes called muscle fever, is the pain or discomfort often felt 24 to 72 hours after exercising and subsides generally within 2 to 3 days.

DOMS can suck a fat one. go f yourself.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Fray

that ginger and his poignant lyrics can go to hell.

go f yourselves, The Fray.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Kanye West


he ain't so bad.

i guess it's hard not to lose touch when you got that kind of cash, everyone kissing your ass.

his beatmaking skills are still on point and his rhymes don't suck quite as much.

Kanye gets a pass, for now.

Nyquil

it helps me fall asleep but not stay that way.

and it gives me messed up dreams.

switching to advil pm from now on.


Nyquil can go f itself.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Bran Muffins

today i bought a chocolate chip muffin for lunch. when i got back to the office and unwrapped it, i realized it was a very dark bran muffin with raisins.

bran muffins can f themselves.

Fat-Free Half and Half

Fat-Free Half and Half can go f itself.