The 'Twilight' Hysteria

i just don't get it. i really don't.

the books are toilet paper written by a writer who can't write. vampires can't live in the daylight, that's rule number fucking one! these pieces of shit are blood-sucking disco balls, what the f is so mesmerizing about that???

and the 'movie' is flat out horrible. just... horrible.

all this frenzied excitement/creaming of pants over it confuses the hell out of me.

it makes me truly embarrassed to be an American.

i don't have kids, but if i did, the only time i'd consider child abuse is if mine were Twi-hards.


Twilight hysteria can go f itself in the ass.

although i bet it would like it.

Abercrombie & Fitch

as I walked by this shithole on my way to buy Mrs. Fields cookies, I caught a waft of what I can only describe as cheap after-shave splashed onto a homeless guy's balls.

A&F can take it's rightful place on the list of things that can f themselves.

Five Guys Burgers

little cheeseburger with onions, tomatoes, grilled mushrooms, ketchup, mustard...

and hair.

Five Guys can f themselves.

and yes, i ate it anyway.

and yes, i will be back.


fuckers.

My Life

i left the office this afternoon feeling like it had been a productive day, only to find that there was a lovely surprise waiting for me.

a flat tire.

after an epic failure on my part in trying to use the jack in my car's emergency kit to replace the busted donut with the spare, i was left tired, cold, hungry, and angry.

help came 2 hours later and after an adventurous journey in the rain, i eventually made it home.

the guy who came to fix my tire, an awesome fellow, asked me if perhaps there was an angry ex-gf fucking my shit up.

if only my life were that interesting.


my life can go f itself.

DOMS

DOMS, Delayed onset muscle soreness, also sometimes called muscle fever, is the pain or discomfort often felt 24 to 72 hours after exercising and subsides generally within 2 to 3 days.

DOMS can suck a fat one. go f yourself.

The Fray

that ginger and his poignant lyrics can go to hell.

go f yourselves, The Fray.

Kanye West

he ain't so bad.

i guess it's hard not to lose touch when you got that kind of cash, everyone kissing your ass.

his beatmaking skills are still on point and his rhymes don't suck quite as much.

Kanye gets a pass, for now.